|The Mystery within...|
I was amazed at how thrilled I was to find one of my two car key’s that had gone missing about six weeks ago. When I spotted it at the bottom of my glove/ mitten/hat drawer, my heart leapt for joy with a simultaneous smile and an audible “Thank you!” on my lips. The intense joy of finding that key surprised me. I had abandoned actively looking for it but I still harbored some hope it might show up. And there it was. And I wanted nothing else that day to detract from my happy find. And that thought stayed with me as my evening unfolded.
Later I could have gotten perturbed with a friend, who was picking me up for dinner that night, and was an hour late without any definitive explanation. But I told myself, I’m happy because I found my key and I’m not going to let this detract from the joy I was still feeling. When he picked me up I found out the delay was due to his brother, who was in the hospital for nine days needing a transfer to a psych ward, which the social worker had finally just secured in another hospital, and the move needed to be done that night. So after we ate dinner, and made a quick stop at my friend’s daughter-in-law’s Christmas craft show, we went to pick up his brother who was supposed to be ready to go at 9:00 p.m., but wasn’t. During the hour plus wait for him I realized I was on the hospital floor, and very wing, where I once served as a Clinical Pastoral Experience student. In my mind's eye I saw myself walking those halls back then and realized how much I had discovered within myself and grown in the almost twenty intervening years. I also was able to witness again the awesome care and compassion of some nurses, grateful for that awareness. Finding my key joy was still intact.
After the three of us got in the van and headed for the other distant hospital, it became apparent the GPS system was taking us in the opposite direction from where we needed to go. But I just sat in the back seat enjoying the two brothers who interacted like Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman in “Rain Man,” one of my favorite movies. The GPS was reprogrammed. We were turned around, and finally arrived at the next hospital’s darkened locked entrance with an outside phone that directed us to the adjacent Emergency door. I was asked to wait in the car. The motor was running and the hazard lights were on. I turned off the motor but could not figure out how to turn off the blinking red lights. So I sat there for another hour plus aware of a few lit rooms on floors above, where others were caring for the sick, remembering some of my family’s and my need in crisis and healing. I took stock of how relatively well I still am physically and felt humbling gratitude. Finding my key joy was still intact.
When my friend returned I told him I could not figure out how to turn off the hazard lights. He showed me. He turned the key and there was no response from the engine. He told me I could have left the engine running. I just let that comment pass. I told him there seemed to be security personnel patrolling the area and maybe we could get them to charge the battery. A short while later we were on our way. When he dropped me off at my house it was after midnight. I heated up my leftover spinach stuffed portabella mushroom from the restaurant and finally got in bed in the small hours of the morning. Finding my key joy was still intact.
The intense Joy I knew must live deep inside me. Accepting what is, humbling gratitude, and letting some things pass helps me hold onto it. What if we all found our lost Key?