Saturday, March 31, 2018

Unconditional Kindness

The Mystery within...
There is a sign behind the desk at my health provider’s lab where I check in for blood draws that says, “ You will never regret being kind.”  I love that sign.  Along with unconditional friendliness, unconditional kindness seems to be another important piece in completing my love puzzle.  I have learned that unconditional kindness toward the other begins with first learning to be unconditionally kind to myself.    

Learning to be kind to myself first was a slow painful process leading to my eventual transformation as told in “God Never Hurries.”  So much of my early life’s training was focused on utter selflessness that I came to know as a very unhealthy way to live.  The paradox is that I came to know the unconditional love of the Great Mystery, which lives in you and me and all things, through my struggle to unlearn selflessness.  I now know learning to be kind to myself teaches me to be kind to all others.  

Undoubtedly there are times when it is necessary and right to put others ahead of my own wants.  And figuring out when that is appropriate appears to be a lifetime task.  And since each of us is unique, with our own needs and gifts, so too are answers for what is appropriate in our individual interactions with the other.

I’ve been pondering unconditional kindness and friendliness because I’m wondering if they can lead to unconditional love, especially for the hard to love.  There seems to be one more key ingredient needed for loving the hard to love--unconditional empathy.  Empathy for the hard to love’s early training making it difficult for them to minimize their ego, know what is ultimately important in life, and learn sharing, tolerance and respect for others different from themselves.  I want to be able to unconditionally love the hard to love because I want us all to know how to become peacemakers.

What if the hard to love are here to teach us all how to love unconditionally and bring about peace?  

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Unconditional Friendliness

The Mystery within...
In her little book the “Pocket PEMA CHODRON,” she writes of “unconditional friendliness.”  Putting those two words together opened my eyes, mind and heart to show me how my LovePuzzle eventually comes together.  My learning to befriend all others and all things that come my way, knowing each moment is part of a lesson plan to grow me in unconditional love, is an awesome realization.  It sounds so simple. Friendly acceptance of whatever or whoever shows up in my life is my starting point in learning how to love unconditionally.

Unconditional friendliness begins with myself and leads me to know I can never go wrong with self-compassion.  It’s just the friendly thing to do for me.  Forgiving myself teaches me how to forgive the other. It highlights my need for good self-care and acknowledges my inner worthiness so I can know the inner worthiness in all others and all things.  My belief in myself gives me courage to know and write my truth.

Love is a big multifacited Mystery that is sometimes hard for me to wrap my finite brain and experience around.  But unconditional friendliness seems to be more heart thinking that leads to action.  It allows me to touch the Mystery within and lets the Mystery within touch me.     

“Be kind to one another” is how Ellen DeGeneres ends each of her television broadcasts.  Every time I hear her say it I feel the transformative power in her simple request—a request presuming friendly acceptance of one another’s differences and a mutual learning because of them. 

What if unconditional friendliness is how we learn to love unconditionally?