Monday, April 27, 2015


The Mystery within...
Right now my days are crammed with medical appointments, therapy, and legal work.  I am now experiencing some relief in knowing I cannot do it all and also write a blog post this week.  I shall miss my reflecting and playing with words and look forward to when I can resume again.  But I’m impressed with my resignation.

What if we could always know when to embrace resignation? 

Monday, April 20, 2015

Path to the Soul

The Mystery within...
This past Saturday I took some time to go and listen to Blair Lewis read from his upcoming audio book to be released sometime this fall titled, “Alive and Healthy -- Shortcuts to the Soul.”  I was curious about the shortcuts part and I am still uncertain if they exist.  My path to the soul has been through suffering in the loss of my husband and son to suicide, in my struggle to find my voice and self-worth in caring for my aging parents, and other traumas.  I have come to know accepting my suffering is the straightest path to the Inner Light within that cares for me.  But it can be a fleeting awareness and hard to hang onto. 

Blair reminded me the removal of fear is a key spiritual act.  It is how I came to know and trust my Inner Light.  He also stated our mind is very high maintenance.  Thoughts are changeable and can often take us where we don’t want to go; and our feelings can sometimes be fickle.  So his antidote for the interfering mind and feelings is to stay in the Now.  He said there are only two time zones--the Now and the not now. 

So I shall work to stay in the Now to short-circuit my fears surrounding my upcoming knee replacement.  I know I am much more than my mind, thoughts and feelings.  I will accept what doesn’t get done before my surgery, and accept what follows, including the pain.  I have had numerous opportunities in my life to know accepting whatever is, especially the pain, is the straightest path to the Light within.

What if we could all live in the Now time zone, accepting whatever is, to access our Inner Light?

Monday, April 13, 2015

Someone's Watching

The Mystery within...
Walks with my yellow lab, Oliver, are getting more difficult for my left knee.  Some days are better than others.  But now I have started to rely on two snowshoe poles to steady me along the path that dips and rises around that little 17-acre wood we like to walk.  One day we were already a good distance from the car when I realized I forgot my poles.  I didn’t want to go back for them so I kept walking across the wooden plank bridge over the river leading to the woods.  I began to regret my decision not to go back until I turned to onto the path.  There, leaning against the small wooden bench at the wood’s entrance, was a sturdy staff waiting for me.  I felt deeply comforted at the sight of it and its heft secured me on the uneven ground.  Before leaving the woods I returned this aid to where I found it and felt a deep knowing I am being watched over. 

A knee replacement is in my future.  It was a difficult decision and is a big step for me.  Lines from Rumi’s poem, “The Guest House,” have been visiting me: 

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows…
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
 …because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

I expect the process of acquiring a new knee comes with new learning.  Just knowing I am being watched over is a priceless revelation.    

What if we all knew we are being watched over?

Monday, April 6, 2015

Some Right Words

The Mystery within...
What a delight it was to wake Easter morning to the eloquently witty, and transformational words spoken by Fr. Gregg Boyle, on Krista Tippet’s On Being, The Calling of Delight:  Gangs, Service and Kinship.  He has the words and heart to guide our spiritual work to open our anguished race conversation and lead us to know everything and everyone belongs. 

His walking in the lowly places models how when we interact with the other, both of us are changed.  And he knows that demonizing is always false.  He sees no divisions.  “I am the other you, and you are the other me,” and believes God created otherness so we would seek union.  His stories are of woundedness, and how learning to befriend those wounds brings transformation.  And he knows it is the other that saves us.

Fr. Boyle cautions us to be mindful of things that are fear driven, and the mental walls they create.  He says burn out comes from striving for success.  And he asks that we look for the sacred in the ordinary.  (Jesus took the cup at the last supper, not a chalice.)  And he points out that service is not the end all but rather the hallway to delighting in kinship with the other. 

The Los Angeles gang members Fr. Boyle affectionately calls homies, grow up in some almost unimaginable circumstances.  As a society we need to know those effects and also how to deliver better mental health care.  Knowing another’s story leads you to compassion.  Our job is to learn we are all homies—connected in kinship and belonging to one another.  When asked where his joy and healthy humor come from he responded, “From having a light grasp on life.”

What if we all heard words of belonging from the other that we are dying to hear?