Doing Life Together

The Mystery within...

Doing life together transforms us from human doings into human beings. And since each of us have unique personalities (think Meyers-Briggs), and each of us are uniquely spiritual (think Enneagram), learning our different approaches to life can bring us closer to the Great Mystery who created it all--our diverse natural world and us. The original design is for nature and humanity to work in tandem—to do life together.  I believe this understanding is our greatest challenge.   

Thoughts of doing life together bubbled up in me after reading the best summary of the Clinical Pastoral Experience (CPE) I have ever seen by a CPE student, Sister Denise West, a Benedictine at Holy Wisdom Monastery in Middleton, WI. I was recently at Holy Wisdom Monastery, not for a presentation on CPE, but on Native American Patty Lowe’s presentation titled, “Ethics of Indigenous Cultures of Wisconsin.” Putting some of Sister Denise’s CPE summary thoughts alongside thoughts from Patty Lowe’s presentation struck me as a template for doing life together.

A major part of CPE training (which I experienced in the late 1990s and early 2000s) is a group critique by fellow students and the CEP instructor, of our individual written verbatim reports of interactions with patients. These words from Sr. Denise’s CPE summary brought back vivid memories of struggle and growth from my four CPE units:

… we would reflect on the interaction to see not how we could have done things better, but how we could have done things differently. This framing freed me to scrutinize how I encountered those in need. I had to learn to let go of my agenda when I walked into a patient’s room and let the patient’s needs unfold before me. In my best moments, I was a companion on a path we co-created."

Patty Lowe’s presentation at Holy Wisdom Monastery shared her Native American Seventh Generation Philosophy that decisions made today should be in the best interest of seven generations into the future.  She spoke of current threats to the environment, and to we who inhabit it, including the adverse effects of mining and pipelines both under the earth and in Lake Superior. She said care of the earth is the most important thing we can do in life--we need to change our relationship with nature and can no longer put profit over planet.  She spoke of her love of nature, the Rights of Nature Movement, and asked, “What if we believed nature loved us back?”

Care for one another, and Mother Earth, calls us all to reflect on how we can each do things differently, to see what agendas we need to let go of, and discover how we can become companions with one another on a path we co-create to sustain Mother Earth and us today, tomorrow and seven generations into the future.     

What if doing life together makes us all CPE students to one another and Mother Earth?   

Spiritual, Not Religious

The Mystery within...

Where did February go? March starts tomorrow and I have yet to write at least one post for February. It’s late.  But I want to write something before February ends.  So here’s a draft synopsis of my next book that is in the editing and publishing process:

Spiritual, no longer religious, is the transforming journey that Marcia walks seeking to learn unconditional love and forgiveness. Both/and Things – The Power in Reflection shares her everyday discoveries that accepting everything and everyone encountered in life can eventually lead to a love that is bigger than the universe--a love that connects us to one another, Mother Earth and beyond.

What if we all seek to connect with one another, Mother Earth and beyond?

Thresholds' Review

The Mystery within...

On our July “Women Gathering 2018” weekend retreat we were led to reflect on the many different thresholds we have crossed in our life. Our one-day winter follow-up, on where each of us are with our life’s thresholds, was held January 19, 2019. This review made it clear to me all of life is about change and how I accept and grow with those changes.

The challenging threshold I was standing on in July was to find my voice and express myself to a public political ideologue. I feared getting “dirty” in a fight. My initial fear of getting “dirty” led me to find the courage to write my truth respectfully, through a series of letters to the editor of my local paper. 

Main ideas in those letters were: we are all in this together—vote responsibly. Service to others is the hallmark of a healthy community. The health and education of our children is our country’s future. I shared recent tips I had learned in how to search the internet to be better informed on the issues and candidates on the ballot for my district. I acknowledged my gratitude for the Dane County League of Women Voters who listed statewide Wisconsin candidates and how each proposed to served the people if elected. I summarized the first ever Ozaukee County Democratic Party fundraiser where speakers called for respect and dignity of all; more equitable tax distribution, critical infrastructure maintenance, returning science to environmental management, investing in our children’s education, mental health, and adequate, affordable health care for all. And I quoted excerpts from Parker Palmer’s book, “Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit”. I acknowledged we need grace in governance, and voting is more than a civic duty, it is a spiritual exercise. And finally, I shared how learning to breathe from my heart allows me to feel sheer compassion for those who govern with self-serving agendas.  

I was in a better place for our “Women Gathering” January Thresholds’ review. I realized how much effort I put into reflecting/writing/speaking my truth. Not just in political matters, but also from my own life in the completion of my second memoire titled, “Both and Things – The Power in Reflection”. In my first memoire, “God Never Hurries”, I danced with anger and fear for my mother’s and my safety. In “Both and Things” I am learning to dance with love, forgiveness and connection. The nest photo in this post was an art therapy piece from July’s “Women Gathering” weekend  retreat. When “Both and Things – The Power in Reflection” is printed, the nest photo will become the book's cover and will include an explanation of its symbolism for me.

To facilitate our January review of our individual Thresholds we were given these words to ponder: Acceptance; Letting Go; Mindfulness; Compassion; and Identifying Helpers. My helpers were easy to ID. They are retreat facilitators Cathy Gawlik and Dawn Zak, and our beautiful circle of women, who are gently guided in discovery and sharing. Poems also accompanied each of the five words for reflection. This stanza from a David Whyte poem titled, “Start in Close”, stood out for me:

Start with

the ground

you know,

the pale ground

beneath your feet, 

your own

way of starting

the conversation.

Also poignant for me were these words from a John O’Donohue poem titled “A Blessing, A Poem”:

May you arise each day with a voice of blessing 

whispering in you heart that something good 

is going to happen to you.

What if we all felt empowered through reflection?  

In Gratitude

The Mystery within...

I am so very grateful it’s finished, my next memoire. I handed it off to my publisher, David Gawlik of Caritas Communications, today. My manuscript left with the title, “Both and Things”, but now I’m not so sure that should be the title. I still have time to change it. It is definitely about the paradoxical nature of everything, that everything is a both and thing, that all troubles can eventually lead to good, especially learning how to love unconditionally.

At the close of my new memoire there is a long list of people I acknowledge who have helped form and inform me thus far. Maybe the real title is hiding in the last two sentences of my acknowledgements that end the book. They read, “Perhaps my deepest gratitude belongs to all those who have ever given me a hard time. They have driven me to reflection, searching for answers for how to love the hard to love unconditionally—a lifetime opportunity.”

Maybe my new memoire’s title should be, “Driven to Reflection—Learning to Love Unconditionally”

I wish you a blessed New Year and invite you to read the poem by the famous Anonymous, "New Year Resolutions", that is listed in the Comfort Messages of my blog under the heading Ego Training. http://www.godneverhurries.com/p/ego-training.html 

What if we all were driven to reflection?  

Post Election Gratitude

The Mystery within...

It’s over.  The campaigning.  I can turn on the T.V. now without being bombarded with cruel and bitter campaign ads.  For that I am grateful. 

I am grateful I found the Dane County League of Women Voters website with their list of questions posed to all candidates running for office in the State of Wisconsin on how each proposed to serve if elected.  I have long longed for such a service.  I am grateful I learned how to find and print a copy of the ballot I would be handed at the polls so I knew ahead of time who would be on my ballot for my district.  I felt better informed when I voted.  For that I am grateful.  

Voting is much more than a civic duty--it is a spiritual exercise.  Governance affects the quality of life, the health and well-being of us all. Education, livelihoods, healthcare, equitable tax distribution, care of the environment, justice, and war or peace are all dependent on how we vote--how we care for one another and the earth. We need a caring economy to be in healthy relationship with one another and the earth.  I am grateful the tide appears to be turning toward understanding our responsibilities for one another's and the earth’s health and well being.

And I am grateful that I am learning to practice sheer compassion for those who govern with self-serving policies that leave so many to struggle without adequate food, shelter and safety.  Breathing from my heart helps get me in touch with Sheer Compassion.  When I remember to do that, I am grateful.

What if we all understood voting as a spiritual exercise and learned to breathe from our hearts to practice sheer compassion toward all?         

Letter to the Editor

The Mystery within...

I decided to post the following letter to the editor that I submitted to two local papers. If it doesn't get published, at least it will be read by someone. Even if you do not live in my state, or country, consider we are all in this together for a more just world.  

* * *
  

I was privileged and proud to attend the first ever Ozaukee County Democratic Party fundraising dinner at the Cedarburg Cultural Center, October 17. There, “Pickin’ Up Speed,” a Bluegrass band playing down to earth music, entertained a sold-out crowd.  Bright blue, star-shaped balloons moved gently above tables where committed, enthusiastic citizens, all longing for a more just order in our government, shared a meal, and heard shining new democratic stars speak of equitable service to all.

The three Ozaukee County Assembly District candidates were introduced—Chris Rahlf, District 60; Liz Sumner, District 23; and Emily Siegrist, District 24. These three women encouraged my heart in knowing we are moving toward more equal representation through integrated gifts that both male and female bring to governance. US Congress District 6 candidate Dan Kohl spoke as well as Mandela Barnes, candidate for Lt. Governor. Congresswoman Gwen Moore from Milwaukee was the keynote speaker. 

Each speaker reflected Democratic values—respect for the dignity of all, a call for more equitable tax distribution, critical infrastructure maintenance, returning science to environmental management, investing in our children’s education, mental health, and providing adequate, affordable health care for all. Congresswoman Moore’s humor and pathos also gave us deep insight into the critical need for change in whom we elect to represent us.  

Committed and enthusiastic candidates, or their helpers, may be at your door between now and November 6 to answer any questions you have and to ask for your vote. I hope you’re lucky enough to meet some of these down-to-earth people in person, if you haven’t already. They’ve all been working hard to earn your vote. Be part of the Blue Wave, picking up speed, for a more just government of the people, for the people and by the people. Vote Democratic November 6.

* * * 

What if we all had the opportunity to vote for candidates committed to the respect and dignity of everyone and a just government of the people, for the people and by the people?  

Suffering

The Mystery within,..

Life is filled with suffering, but also with beauty.  When I suffer I naturally seek beauty—a walk in the woods or on the beach, a bike ride down country roads, or staring up at the night sky or into an emerging dawn. Somehow being present to Beauty consoles me and imparts a sense of purpose to my suffering.  The hearings involving testimonies regarding President Trump’s Supreme Court justice nominee, and his accuser, personally disturbed on many levels.  I am grateful for the wooded path along the river, and my bike and country roads, that comfort me.

The sexual and psychological abuse I experienced as a child, and then later in my workplace, and again in medical settings, all came back with unsettling detail.  The darkness of perverse power is overwhelming.  Further suffering is guaranteed for bringing abuse into the light.  You are damned if you do and you are damned if you don’t.  I know the real fears of women who do not come forward with abuse allegations because of the added suffering that gets heaped on top of the initial offense. Somehow, understanding both sides of this suffering, those of the perpetrator and the victim, is key to understanding the way to love and peace.  So I have been walking the woods, riding my bike, and breathing from my heart to move me toward peace.

Understanding that most boys are raised in patriarchal systems has been helpful.  The dictionary defines patriarchy as “a family, group, or government controlled by a man or a group of men.”  It is more than daughters who suffer from the patriarchal model. Sons, and the whole of society are deprived of integrated gifts both genders have to offer. Someday, equal integrated shares of both male and female gifts will form the foundation for freedom, justice and peace in the world.

When I was halfway through writing my memoire, God Never Hurries, I got stuck and could not continue writing until I acknowledged my father’s abuse.  It was not well received by many.  But now, more than ever, I know it was the right thing to do.  I tried writing posts the past several weeks but couldn’t finish them, until I let myself write this one.      

If you have found events from the past week disturbing, I invite you to look for Beauty, breathe from you heart where the Great Mystery resides, and wait to be filled with empathy and compassion for all parties involved in this heart wrenching drama our country is experiencing.  I wish you peace.

What if we all learned to breathe from our hearts—would patriarchy cease to exist?