Tuesday, May 29, 2018


The Mystery Within...
I have found it difficult to write of late.  I want to write about belonging and have become painfully aware I was not schooled in a language of belonging—a language where all of nature, including humans, have inalienable rights and belong to the same Sacred Whole.  It make’s Robin Wall Kimmerer’s words ring true for me that the language of capital imperialism refers to nature as an it or thing for personal gain, not as kin. I am also reminded of Berkley law professor, john a. powell, who said we do not yet have the words to speak what needs to be said about race relations in America today.  As one who searches for the right words, I better understand my difficulty in writing about belonging.  

But there were hard times in my life when belonging words came easily to me.  It was a time when I struggled mightily with my own rights—a time when I steeped myself in nature, was comforted and felt a strong kinship to the Sacred Whole. In my first memoir I wrote … It was a time of heightened consciousness and vivid dreams.  I awoke one morning with words floating in my head.  I did not remember a specific dream, but there were these words that wanted to be put together.  I reached for my bedside pencil and paper, and here’s how they became arranged:  

God is in the sunshine,
God is in the rain.
God is in the wheat field
And in the sky again.

God is in the birds
Who sing to you and me. 
God’s also in the puppy that
Plays so gleefully.

God is in the mountains,
God is in the sea.
But best of all, don’t you know
God’s in you and me.

And during that same period of struggle, my late friend Rosemary signed me up for a retreat titled, “Desires of the Heart” led by Wendy Cory.  She knew my pain needed it. Wendy led us in a meditation dialogue with our heart.  My question to my heart clearly originated in my mind. Answers did not.  I asked my heart if my work was to balance justice and love. The answer was, “Yes, you are coming to see my desire.  But I ask that you not storm ahead with a zealous plan.  Be relaxed and open.  Watch for signs I will give you and opportunities to make a difference.”  I thanked my heart for its wisdom and pleaded, “Help me. Hold my hand.”  My heart responded, “I hold your hand and all of you. Know that we are one.”  Now, in easier times, it is harder for me to remember belonging words in a culture that does not have an adequate language for them. Also, in easier times, it is harder to fondly remember the saving grace in pain and struggle.  But today I do and I am grateful.    

What if we all questioned what our Heart desires and remember pain and struggle can be a path to learning how we belong to one another and the Sacred Whole? 

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