My New Book

The Mystery within...

My new book, Both/and Things—The Power in Reflection, is soon to be published. It highlights my growing understanding of the paradoxical nature of everything. In my first memoire, God Never Hurries, I danced with fear and anger for my mother’s and my safety. In Both/and Things—The Power in Reflection, I am evolving in my dance with love, forgiveness, and connection. I share what I am learning about fear and courage, evil, vital decay, recycling pain, curiosity, diversity’s many gifts, the evolution of love, unconditional love, and forgiveness. The following highlighted words capture the essence of Both/and Things.

Empowerment - Fear brought me closer to the truth to show me how my compliance with patriarchy allowed destructive behaviors in the other and myself. I learned I was the one who needed to change. And I’m still a work in progress.

Acceptance - Somehow the creative force of the Great Mystery exists in the interplay of darkness and light where so much becomes clear. I am learning that embracing the darkness is the first step to creating goodness and strength in us all.

Diversity - When we reflectively interact with nature and each other, we become good medicine for the earth and one another.

Belonging - I am learning a new language of belonging is needed to treat all of creation and each and everyone of us as holy.

Love - Each day brings ample opportunity to work toward life’s ultimate goal—love of self and all others unconditionally through the power of reflection.

Forgiveness -  It’s all about forgiveness. Sheer compassion and forgiveness of myself teaches me how to love and forgive the other unconditionally.

Wisdom– My reflections in Both/and Things begin with quotes from diverse souls who understand what life is about: 

Pema Chodron 

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” 

“Nothing awakens the heart like extreme sadness.” 

            

e. e. cummings 

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really 

are."  

Richard Rohr 

“Darkness, mistakes, and trials are the supreme teachers. Success really teaches you nothing; it just feels good."

Jellaludin Rumi 

 “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”

            Albert Einstein  

        “Never lose a holy curiosity.”

              

Stephen Covey 

 “Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.”

Teilhard de Chardin 

“Yet it is the law of all progress that is made by passing through some stages of instability and that may take a very long time.”

“The most telling and profound way of describing the evolution of the universe would undoubtedly be to trace the evolution of love.”

“Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world [man] we will have discovered fire."

What if we all came to know the power in reflection?  

    

    

Co-creators

The Mystery within...

I was part of a Schlitz Audubon Nature Center reading group reflecting on botanist and Native American, Robin Wall Kimmerer’s book, “Braiding Sweetgrass,” when, Laurie, a group member said, “The only thing created out of nothing is love.”  I understood Laurie's words on a level where words are inadequate to describe what we all seek.  And if our world, our universe, was created out of love, then I believe we all play a part as co-creators through loving the world and one another.

When I asked Laurie if she could say a little more about “The only thing created out of nothing is love,” she told me the story of her two year old daughter dying of cancer and the love that sprung from her daughter’s reaching her tiny little hand out to grab the pinky of a seriously bad-tempered, tyrannical family member.  She said her daughter’s simple touch broke down his defenses and she saw how he realized he had nothing to fear from her daughter.  Her touch transformed him.  I pray her poignant story will help me be more curious and understanding of the fears harbored by seriously bad tempered, tyrannical souls and will help me know everything holds the Mystery within to bring transformation.        

Robin Wall Kimmerer braids science, spirit and sacred stories to show us a possible relationship where people, the land, and everything inhabiting it, are good medicine for each other.  This symbiotic relationship is born from the alchemy of our gratitude for our earth’s many gifts.  Other species can be known as models of ecological and cultural sustainability that demonstrate the power of unity through diversity.  Our participation in this interplay is critical for our transformation. 

Gratitude for the gifts of earth’s diversity is the hallmark of native cultures across the globe and an essential understanding for our future health and well-being.  We need to be thankful for the plant and animal lives that sustain us taking care not to waste or over consume.  A line from a native prayer acknowledges, “Everything we need to live a good life is here on Mother Earth.”  Kimmerer knows, along with many others, that gratitude begets abundance and our strength lies in our embrace of diversity.

Reciprocity is a word Kimmerer uses throughout “Braiding Sweetgrass.”  If we take care of the earth the earth will take care of us.  And we need to give back for what the earth gives us.  We need to choose leaders rooted in service and wisdom; leaders who are willing to work for common good and common ground with an ability to ameliorate differences; leaders who will present us with a Bill of Responsibilities.  We need to show up and speak up for Mother Earth. 

What if we all became co-creators by risking loving the world?

Synergy and Diversity

The Mystery within...

My granddaughter Hailey was a part of the Lutheran Outdoor Ministries Center (LOMC) for her second summer camp.  Like last year, I went along to pick her up at her group’s Swing Choir final performance in the tenth, and last city of their tour, this year in Rock Island, IL.  They put on another terrific show, regretted parting company with their choir mates, and started looking forward to returning next year.  As I watched their last performance at St. John’s Lutheran Church I was struck by the tremendous coordination and cooperation that goes into this worthwhile experience. I felt the synergy of the community that made it all possible.  Working together, so much more can be accomplished.  I glanced over and saw the pastor of St. John’s standing in the doorway wearing her clerical collar watching the youth perform.  It was a stunning reminder of why I left the church of my birth at age 60.  Afterwards, I spoke briefly with her.  There was so much I wanted to ask her but instead just inquired how long she has been a pastor and she said 14 years.  I imagined it wasn’t easy but admired her and the church that ordained her.

What if honoring diversity creates the synergy to do things better for everyone?

Looking with Evolutionary Eyes

God is...

I have been looking at events of this past week with an eye toward evolution.  There was my ten-year-old granddaughter’s holiday program where I saw her class on an evolutionary timeline and wondered what positive outcomes and challenges lay ahead of them.  I noted a sprinkling of ethnic diversity in her class and also children differently able both physically and emotionally.  I recalled the NPR program I heard earlier that day that featured Paul Salopek who has embarked on a seven year project to walk around the world on a route that would have been traveled by our pre-agrarian hunter-gatherer ancestors.  Salopek said his slow paced foot travels is giving him a heightened presence to people, their significant problems, and to the landscapes he is encountering.  I wondered if the ease my grandchildren have with electronics, and which allows us all to accomplish so much more in much less time, also contributes to what I see as hurry sickness that leads us to be less present to what matters.  And I let myself get rattled as I was beginning to back out of my parking space at the Post Office, and another driver darted into the parking area, laid on his horn, and then shot past me to make a sharp right into an adjoining parking space.  I thought of David Sloan Wilson’s depiction of the less than social water striders and felt like I had just bumped into one.  And I attended the funeral of a Caucasian family friend, a kind and gentle man whose children intermarried and gave him beautiful grand children mixed with Black heritage, another with Hispanic heritage.  And then there was Nelson Mandela’s death this past week and his beautiful legacy of forgiveness—true liberation, and his deep concern for continuing widespread poverty throughout the world.  Looking with evolutionary eyes has seemed to facilitate reflection and that is a good thing.

We are so very young as a species.  Our hunter-gatherer ancestors began leaving Africa 60,000 years ago.  (The age of our earth is approximately 4.54 billion years old.)  Agriculture began 10,000 years ago and the first cities appeared only 6,000 years ago.  Wilson tells us in his book, “The Neighborhood Project--Using Evolution to Improve My City, One Block at a Time,” that human nature does go beyond self-interest, and that reason needs to be the basis of our actions.  To that end an interdisciplinary effort to look at how nature regulates, and apply that regulation to economics, became the focus of a conference titled the “Nature of Regulation. “  The conference brought together highly respected individuals from animal behavior, anthropology, business, cognitive psychology, economics, ecology, evolutionary psychology, finance, history, law, neurobiology, peace studies, political science, prevention science, social-insect biology, sociology, and theoretical biology to consider the following:

-       Rethink the theory of human regulatory systems from the ground up.

-       Learn from other biological systems about the nature of regulation.

-       Reach a consensus on what constitutes human nature.

-       Appreciate the importance of environmental mismatch.

-       Take cultural evolution seriously.

What if we all looked with evolutionary eyes that go beyond self-interest; eyes that respect and highlight diversity, and search for ways to end global poverty.  

Transformational People

God is...

According to evolutionary scientist, David Sloan Wilson, the most effective way to promote positive change in another is to catch someone doing something right and praise him or her.  Since evolution is a response to the environment, creating a more positive environment through praise engenders within us the desire to strive for more improvement.  Even smiles were proven to redirect behavior over frowns. Studies show that students who were praised for their hard work worked harder than those praised for their intelligence. (Ironically, praising intelligence stunted growth for the drive to take on harder tasks was diminished.)  This past week I was privileged to experience an off-handed compliment and did become aware of my desire to do even better. 

Evolutionary scientists, prevention scientists, behavioral scientists and social scientists are just beginning to interact among themselves.  Those interactions will lead to more right questioning which will eventually help us move in more positive directions.  A master’s thesis done on preventing young children from running into the street showed praise and small tangible rewards were much more effective than reprimanding which made the problem worse.  A good behavior game, created by students coming to consensus on what good behavior is, easily became the culture of the group.  Wilson states, “We are designed as a species to cooperate in small groups that are coordinated and policed by norms established by consensus.” 

Wilson says,  “Our current educational system dumbfounds our instincts…” Learning needs to be less structured and more spontaneous since we learn easiest when at play.  We need to highlight differences, not try to eliminate them.  We need to accommodate differing reactivity by assessing and placing each child in an environment where they can thrive.  Classes of mixed age groups were found to foster a spirit of nurturance instead of competition resulting in less bullying and where slower students don’t stand out.  And every student, regardless of age, needs to have a vote in all major decisions.  All of the above makes me recall Teilhard de Chardin’s prayer titled, “Above All Trust in the Slow Work of God.”

I am over three quarters of the way into Wilson’s book, “The Neighborhood Project – Using Evolution to Improve My City One block at a Time,” and was surprised to first learn now that he is an atheist.  His support of praise, diversity and everyone having a voice sounds like a little bit of heaven to me.

What if each day we challenged our self to catch someone doing something right, praising him or her, and smiling more?