Comforting Connections

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Mystery within...

As I closed the living room shades against the unseasonably cold night my memory was jogged by the near full moon’s blue glow on the early cover of snow. I remembered a nighttime winter walk with my son Joe and our then beagle-cocker mix, Lydia. I wrote of that walk in my first memoire God Never Hurries. 

I remembered soulful fun from another earlier time when my late son Joe and I took Lydia for a walk after a big snowstorm. We went behind the school that night where deep drifts lay against a steep hill. I can almost hear Joe’s and my laughter, feel the fresh cold air in my lungs and on my happy face, as the three of us took running jumps and dives into the blue moonlit drift. Lydia’s little black body wriggled as she got stuck in the depths. We had more fun that otters.

That memory was so clear tonight I could almost see Joe and me in the kitchen when we returned home happily refreshed by the cold air, and the fun we had in the blue moon lit snow. I believe Joe is near tonight.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

A young man named James warmed heart with deep gratitude Wednesday night. 

I was getting ready to print copies of a reading to take to my Cedarburg library writers’ group when my printer jammed. I couldn’t see how to open the printer, or get the print cartridge out, to see if that’s where I would pull the half way out paper all the way out.  So I called my local Office Max and asked if I brought my printer in could someone please help me with unjamming the paper. I was told they do not do any service work. I pleaded and said, “When I buy replacement print cartridges I bring in my printer and someone puts the cartridge in for me. All I want is for someone to show me how to open the printer to get the stuck paper out. Reluctantly, the young woman who answered the phone told me I needed to speak with James. When he came to the phone I told him of my need for help and he said, “We don’t do any service work”. I repeated the print cartridge scenario. There was silence. I asked, if I come in with my printer in the next 15 minutes would he be there and help me open it up.  More silence, and then, “Yes”.       

It was miraculous. First, because of my beseeching persistence, second, because James didn’t even have to look at the back of the machine as he opened it up and handed me the rumpled paper. I thanked him profusely and asked if I could give him something. He shook his head “no” with a disbelieving smile. I was euphoric as I walked out with my printer past the young cashier. I told her its out. She smiled and said warmly, “I’m so glad.” 

My lightheartedness stayed with me the rest of the night. Who would ever guess a paper jam could bring such happiness?

Friday, November 15, 2019

Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it will be opened.

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Last night at a Full Moon Circle gathering of women we reflected on women’s need to ask for what we want from life. Asking for ourselves is not something most of us were raised to do but is important, not only for us, but to the benefit of all. It was suggested we begin each day asking for something for ourselves. 

I began this day asking that I live more from my heart today. Truly amazing things happened. I was more aware of how I moved through my day—with more acceptance, more thoughtful responses to others, and forgiveness of myself when I could have done better. I now want to make living more from my heart a conscious standing request to begin each day. And hopefully I’ll learn to tack on other requests too. 

Monday, November 18, 2019

When I saw today’s date on my computer screen I felt its significance. Thirty years ago today, my youngest son Joe died at age 22. The devastating emptiness of losing him slowly healed through my acceptance. Tonight I wonder what life would have been like if he were still alive. That I will never know. What I do know tonight is I fear my own eventual death less because of him.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

The following stanza from a poem by Rashani titled, “Unbroken” appeared in an e-mail from the Center for Courage and Renewal this morning.

There is a hollow space

Too vast for words

Through which we pass with each loss,

Out of whose darkness

We are sanctioned into being.

Deep comfort comes when we connect with another’s pain and the understanding that comes from it. It is why and how I wrote Both/and Things—The Power in Reflection, God Never Hurries, and continue with writing this blog.