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The Mystery within... |
Fear, forgiveness and prayer
have been on my mind with the recent mayhem wrought by the terrorists in
France. Damning talk of revenge
has me longing for prayers for the perpetrators of those heinous acts and
prayers for the rest of us to accept our anger and fear that can start us on our
work to forgive. I know something of
prayer, fear and forgiveness for they threaded throughout my memoir. Some excerpts from “God Never Hurries:”
I sensed fear was at the heart of my father’s need to
control, and his fears undoubtedly were heightened by my mother’s growing
dementia and the fact that she had been the center of all things relative to a
functioning home.
…I felt empathy for his fears along with a sense of
futility in any attempted dialogue.
…I was also truly scared. Scared for my mother’s and my safety.
…fear is more than fight or flight. Guile and cleverness are just two of
many ways to address fear; and fear keeps the world in check. [Adapted from “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker.]
[I attended] …a two day workshop on forgiveness sponsored
by a Unitarian church in Milwaukee featuring Robert Enright and Susan Freedman
from the International Forgiveness Institute. I had previously heard them tell of their mission on public
radio—to help people gain knowledge about forgiveness and to use that knowledge
for personal, group, and societal renewal.
It was comforting to learn that forgiveness is a
process; the first step is believing it is a possibility. We can then look to our Pride, the
negative kind, which blocks the process.
Denial of anger was cited as a clue to Pride and an obstacle to
forgiveness. It takes humility to
admit being hurt. It is humbling
to admit woundedness. Therefore,
it can be healthy to get angry and Prideful to deny it. Pride was said to be a formidable foe
for we are very unaware of it. I
also learned forgiveness is most needed where things are least safe; and you
need to be in a safe place to work on forgiveness.
Forgiveness benefits were many and were said to come
from the heart and the head and resulted in emotional control. It was said true forgiveness is not
trivial for it transforms who we are.
Freedom and a more real view of life are its fruits. Forgiveness is also giving up resentment
and coming to view the perpetrator with compassion.
Like Teyve in Fiddler on the Roof, I had many informal conversations with God. I am
called to pray for my enemies out of love--though love does not preclude justice for the wronged--it just
makes me more whole. And I learned to trust God's slow work in me.
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