"This above all, refuse to be a victim."
Margaret Atwood
If the ultimate goal in life is to love, serve and
forgive, what keeps me from realizing that goal on a daily basis? The puzzle for me was, and probably will
always be, to first love, serve and forgive myself so I can then do likewise to
all others. Serious tragedies have
brought me to my knees--the suicide of my husband at age 42 and youngest son at
age 21; and patriarchal abuse from my father and church were all dark shadows in
my life that came to a head when I was faced with my aging parents care needs. But gold was hidden in all that darkness. It led me to question everything I had been
taught and to reflect often on what love is and is not.
For me the puzzle was, and still is, knowing
when to first say, “Yes” to my needs and “No” to others’ requests, needs or
demands. Overcoming fear, and
understanding its gifts, will probably always challenge me. Gavin De Becker, in his book “The Gift of
Fear” wrote: “Natures greatest
accomplishment, the human brain, is never more efficient or invested than when
its host is at risk. Then intuition is
catapulted to another level entirely, a height at which it can be accurately be
called graceful, even miraculous.” And,
“Intuition connects us to the natural world and to our nature.” Fear’s gift to me was a heightened sense of
presence to everything and everyone around me.
Within the gift of being present I came to know a
Presence that resides within me, in all others, and everything. Comfort and answers to my troubles came from
that Presence through the beauty and power of nature, small groups of helpful
people, and reflecting on and writing about whatever showed up in my life each
day.
I suspect fear is at the heart of all difficulty in
loving, serving, and forgiving ones self and the other. Fear is a both/and thing and can shed light on
love’s conundrum to love, serve and forgive the other and myself.
What if we all looked to our struggles for the gifts hidden
within more often?
No comments :
Comment